My friend told me that I was being a “buzzkill” when we went out last Friday. He didn’t say that, but I know that’s what he meant. We went out to a hookah bar and of course self conscious me was comparing myself to every female that walked past the large window we were sitting at. And I kept staring off into space thinking about my lack of a job and how I had spent $30 on gas for the weekend and how I couldn’t afford to be enjoying myself (though he paid for everything) and I was thinking about my crush (this was the day after my 3-second look and it was fresh on my mind).
He told me to stop worrying and just relax. But he could say that easily. He has his own apartment (I’m still living at home), has a reliable and pretty new (2009) car, and he obviously has the income to afford all of those things. He’s one of those guys who literally has just about everything going for him. So hearing him tell me to relax fell on deaf ears. I’m jobless and living at home off of student loans. I’m not gonna lie, life sucks for me right now. But, I’m sure it’ll get better. I just need a job making around $1000 a month and I’d be straight. But I couldn’t even get the movie theater up the street to hire me to sell tickets :/.
Good thing about that weekend though. They were filming Dumb and Dumber 2 just a block away from the hookah spot and I got to see Jim Carey :D.
Am I Perfect Yet? 