Getting to the point, I’m so frustrated!! I finally figured out that not eating after 4:30 pm no longer works for me. So I decided to try something my mother was doing called a macro diet. I don’t know specifics, but she was eating a very Atkins-like meat and cheese based diet. I started it on Monday and was immediately craving sugar (carbs are the enemy and sugar is carbs 😛 ). I bought a lot of sugar free candies to fix the craving.
I did okay until today when, of course, it was my bosses birthday. And we went out and trying to keep my carbs low, I got a savory crepe which wasn’t so bad. I had decided to rearrange my dinner when, of course, we get back to the office and there’s cupcakes. And not Publix cupcakes either, the nice Cupcake Wars decadent 5 bucks a pop kind. So, I ate one. I’m sure the carbs in that thing was through the roof.
I told myself I wouldn’t regret it, but of course I do. Mainly because I’ve only been dieting four days. And I don’t really count today or Monday. It’s just Thursday and I have a whole weekend to get through. I don’t know if I said it before, but my biggest setback is people. People and saying ‘hey, you wanna go out to lunch?’ ‘hey, I’m going to Chipotle, wanna go?’ ‘wanna get some ice cream with me?’ and my stupid weak mind NEVER says no. I also went because it was my coworkers and I’m not trying to seem like a hermit. I need to learn to say no. I think if I just start, it won’t be so bad.
Meanwhile, I’m devastated over my ruined week and don’t know what to do. I spent so much money on food just to screw it up and I’m so pissed at, not myself, but life. I was almost homefree. I spent 50 bucks on groceries for just me and not it’s all going to pot because of one f-ing cupcake. Blah world, blah.
In case you’re wondering what I’ve been up to and how my trip went, it was good 😉
I actually didn’t realize how much I’d needed it until I got there. I had TONS of fun. My friends and I went to a club and apparently some cute guy wanted to dance with me but was too shy and was quite crestfallen when some other guy did. My best friend told me to go back and talk to him but I thought he was joking… Until I heard the same story from two other people 😦
As for pre-trip weight loss… sigh. I didn’t prepare myself well enough for things like temptations, pitfalls, setbacks and it made me realize that I never do. So I’ve been working on that. Mint gum for when I’m bored. Watermelon for when I’m craving. K-dramas and Candy Crush for when I’m sad or anxious. Dance music when I’m happy 🙂 I haven’t figured out how to handle peer pressure yet 😛 But I will. I’m at my worst with my friends.
During the trip I ate a ton, but I feel like what I ate was balanced with the constant walking and fighting against the waves and doing the zip-line and ropes course (cute guys there too, they were all different types of European with accents and everything, but there was one who was blonde and had pretty eyes who was very much in my personal space… sigh, I liked him).
But I’m back on my diet. I’ve been eating watermelon for dinner this week. I’ve wanted it since the beginning of summer but didn’t indulge because I thought it was expensive. I dance in the morning and run/walk in the evening (though it’s so humid in GA right now).
And in case you were looking at this picture and wondering why I’m trying to lose weight, and I actually think I look decent from the front (and I like my fat thighs, though I think I’m deluding myself into thinking my stomach is flatter than it is 😉 ). It’s the back I’m concerned with. It’s also the reason I’m wearing a shirt at the beach 😛 I have rolls. Back rolls. Three of them and I’m way too embarrassed to post a pic of them. But they’re there and bug the crap out of me. And my body needs work elsewhere too. But mostly, I’m ashamed of my fat back.
So, that was my trip and my new friends are planning for a cruise sometime in January and I vow to be ready!
So today I weighed 143 😛 Why! Though, I haven’t BMed in like three days. (And all that Golden Corral is technically still in there)
So, yesterday I went to the park and actually did 5 miles 😀 and burned 550 calories. I’m sure I had to eat 3000 cals at Golden Corral though (or maybe not). It was cool out, though still humid by the time I went at 7:30 and a lot of people were out.
In other news, today’s my birthday 😀 I was officially 23 at 5 am. I feel decent about it. A little bummed about my lack of weight loss, especially with the trip being three days away. But hopefully, I’ll get over it.
I plan on having a day filled with writing, playing PlayStation, watching K-dramas, and swimming in other people’s pools.
Welp, no progress to report. I still weighed 142.6 today. But, that doesn’t really mean anything. There have been times when I didn’t lose a single pound one day but end up losing two the next day. I could just be backed up :P. So, no fretting here. I’d only be pissed if I’d gained weight.
I weighed 141.8 today! For some reason, it doesn’t mean anything because I’ve seen the number on the scale before. I won’t really get excited until I hit the 130s. I’m also behind by a pound… Then again, I did go from 145 to 142.6 initially. I still wanted to see daily progress I guess. With tomorrow being my birthday, I actually had my birthday meal today with Golden Corral for breakfast. It was awesome and I ate sooo much. But I wasn’t fall-over full and I let that be my only meal for the day (besides a tiny bowl of cereal later on).
Today I’m going to try two laps (2.2 miles each) at the park. I’m still taking my Slimquick and since I’m in GA (where humidity is king), I’m waiting for the sun to drop some before I go walking. Yesterday, I didn’t exercise because I wanted to see if I could forego it and still lose weight and it worked. But today, I ate so many carbs (french toast, pancakes, hash browns) that I need to go walking at least.
My predictions for tomorrow are actually pretty dismal. I can’t see losing anything, but I’ll try to keep somewhat optimistic 😛
So, I made my declaration yesterday! Whoo! The last time I weighed myself (last Friday) I was 145 lbs but I’m sure I was bloated. Yesterday, I ate my regular (weekday) meal of overnight oats, a Clif Bar, lentil soup, a gala apple, and a pbj. I also ran 3 miles at the park. This morning I woke up and was 142.6 :D.
I took picture proof of my body and the scale but I was showing my boss a pic on my phone and was afraid she’d see it, so I deleted it :P. But, I’ll take one tomorrow morning for sure.
I also took a caffeine tablet and a Slimquick capsule (though, maybe a little too late in the day, I had the jitters last night). Today, I did the same thing, but factored in Subway into my calories (I omitted the lentil soup, gala apple, and pbj and had a Nutrigrain bar instead). I only got to run 2.2 miles at the park since it started pouring halfway through, but I feel okay since of course I ran faster than usual.
I’m too scared to take the caffeine pill in addition to the Slimquick because of yesterday’s jitters. I’m a little hungry, which is fine. I’m looking up recipes for green tea to take the “edge” off.
So far so good 🙂
So, I’ve officially been challenged by life. My birthday is next Monday, July 14, and my best friend just informed me that he and some other friends are planning a trip for next weekend to the beach. That beach being Myrtle beach 😛 but still a beach.
I’d noticed a lot of my body crushes have awesome beach pics and I want some too! Lol,the trip is next Thursday to Sunday and that’s exactly a week from today. I just found out about it this morning and after pining over others’ interesting and sexy lives, I decided I wanted some sexy beach pics too.
So, I’m putting myself on a challenge.
I created another Bloom account and uploaded some new pics of my thinspirations (I even included a pic of my crush for extra motivation) and I’m going to set up a Proof! account which is an app that lets you challenge yourself to do something for seven days and you have to photograph your progress each day (or something like that).
So, my goal: drop seven pounds in seven days. Oh yeah. I’m doing this. Lol, I’ve done the ‘drop a pound a day thing’ a million times and I know what works.
- No eating after 4
- Limit caloric intake to 1200 calories
- Two forms of exercise per day (dance and 3-mile run)
- Finish off the rest of my diet pills with 2 per day(I use Slimquik Naturals and if I run out, my mom has OxyElite)
- Make sure I’m taking caffeine so I get a good energy boost
We’ll see how this goes, especially since one of these days takes place on my birthday :P. I want Golden Corral for breakfast (yes, I’m simple) and I don’t think I’d need dinner and certainly not a cake.
We’ll see how I do!
Oh the life of a chronic binger. I always look at people who are morbidly obese, or even more than moderately overweight and wonder “how the hell did they let that happen?” I always look at how I binge on like 3000 calories in a day, still stuffing food into my mouth while I’m full and my stomach hurts. Then I think about how I only do it once or twice a week. I guess that was enough to make me as the BMI calculator states, “slightly overweight,” but wasn’t enough to actually make me obese. Even though, on those days I felt like I should be.
I already know the cause of my bingeing, anxiety. Lately, I’ve been thinking of building a website (not a blog like this one) and it’s something I’ve been thinking really hard about (it’s even been drowning out my dreams). The thought of all the work and research and possible success and possible failure has been eating my brain. I haven’t figured out what I need to do about it yet. I normally settle my anxiety with gum and Candy Crush. But I’m out of gum and Candy Crush has gotten too hard, lol. So, I’ll have to find some other, hopefully productive, way to cope.
Today I had: hash browns, banana pudding, a Clif Bar, a grilled cheese, my brother’s grilled cheese crust, nachos, popcorn, and I’m sure I’m leaving stuff out, all in a 4 hour period 😛